A beautiful mess

These four walls in this house, oh if they could speak.

All the stories they could tell. Sadness. Heartache. Anger. Gain and Loss. Happiness. Laughter. Tears. Hugs. Prayer. Conversations. Disagreements. The difficult truth, and the explanation of emotions.

You go through life thinking “I’m going to do this..I’m going to do that! My husband will not be like this, my kids will never do that! I’m going to work here, make this amount of money and live in this type of house! I will have 3 dogs and 2 cats!”

…then life knocks at your door.

For some people their life plans really do work out and with only minor hiccups along the way…but for most when life knocks at your door it grabs your arm, holds you tight and keeps you in the eye of the storm for the better part of your days.

Watching your world spin around and around just trying to catch a glimps of something that isn’t moving. Something steady, grounded.

For the majority of November I have been living in the eye of the storm…just looking for something to not move long enough to catch a grip.

its all still moving pretty fast.

Alot of days those four walls see every emotion known. From laughs and smiles, to tears and prayers.

Begging Jesus for guidence and direction…along with forgiveness and consistency.

this life is a beautiful [giant] mess. — i can’t post pictures on social media, portraying that within these four walls there is perfection….because I mean let’s be real, it’s not. No where close.

It is M I N E though, and I am so unworthy. Unworthy of my many many blessings. Unworthy of my crazy, moody, wide open, “ALL boy”, big hearted, sweet little boys. Unworthy of the unfailing love from my husband. Unworthy of the unconditional love from my God.

Unworthy, but SO proud, to be driving this hot mess express.

i am just holding on to the two things I can get a grip on while in the eye of the storm…faith and love.

Have you ever had such a thrown together but yet falling apart week that you literally can’t even??? Like you swear if one more thing goes wrong you’re tappin out— yeah, me too! but then I hit a bird, in my carport. Had to shovel it to its grave. And here i am…not tapping out ((because it’s just not a real option)).

That week, both of my boys came down with some snotty noses, sore throats but some how dodged strep. My husband had to work like a mule, I didn’t see him for four straight days. My dog ran away. My mom had surgery to remove some cancerous places in her thyroid…and then I killed a bird. — && then Thursday was Thanksgiving (yes,this all happened in 4 days)…I’m sure I’m leaving something out.

So when you are scrolling through your news feed or all the pictures on insta, thinking “how do all these people live such perfect lives and mines a big ole ball of mushy mess” ….I am here to tell you, if you see one of mine and it looks like a decent picture. It’s just that – a decent picture, where we happen to all smile at the same time and look like we have it together! I promise you it’s not all rainbows and butterflies in this house!!!

This is for >YOU< shout out to all the other drivers out there..toot your “hot mess express” horn and just keep chuggin – we will be just fine y’all ❤️

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