If i could take just one trip to Heaven, it wouldn’t be enough.
FOUR long years ago, my grandpa stepped into Heaven. He had been sick for some time and the cancer was just too much. He was ready to go to the other side, he told me one day “it’s just so much better there than here! I’m ready” and my heart knew that day, it wouldn’t be long.
He was my best friend. The man that helped mold me into this feisty but sweet woman.
We would go fishing a lot, it was his favorite thing to do. And because it was his favorite — it was also mine. He also loved to cook! Mostly anything us grand-kids liked or asked for! He ALWAYS put us first. There is six of us and he loved us more than life, literally.
My mom tells me often, when my kids BEG and CRY to stay at her house, ” you would do the same thing to stay at your Momma-Nita and Paws”. Every weekend just about, was spent with them! and I soaked up every last minute of it!
My pawpaw cooking french toast, eggs, bacon and sausage on a Saturday morning…nothing more i could’ve wanted!
I miss that man, oh do i miss him!
When we as a family first learned my grandpa had cancer, i remember being old enough to know what it meant, but not old enough to understand what it meant. I didn’t understand the fight he was about to endure. The courage it would take. The motivation he would need. The support he would need. The decision he would have to make. I was just not old enough to get that part of life.
He was never, ever scared. He said his heart was in the right placed, and he believed. If anyone thought he was scared — they were wrong.
He never lost the happiness, and he never stopped telling us it was all going to be okay. He was so at peace with what was coming – it was hard for me to understand how someone could be so calm, so happy, — so ready.
His death has took a part of my heart.
Although i do think about him every single day, some days are harder. Some days i feel him close to me, talking, laughing — teaching me even still. I know when I get that lump in my throat, he is here. I know he is watching over my children, my family, and I know in my heart – he is proud.
I wish he was here so my children could experience the love of Paw — there was and is nothing like it.
If i could just take one trip to Heaven, it would be to squeeze him one more time. To feel his scruffy beard kiss my forehead. It would be to hear him say “i love you sissy-roo” just one more time. It would be to have him give me -another- four leaf clover. It would be to hear him tell another crazy story about his momma! It would be to go fishing. It would be everything i could ask for — but it still wouldn’t be enough ❤