My husband and I are working very hard to figure out what it is we want to do for the rest of our lives. Our careers. Additions to the family. A place to call home.
The questions we keep asking ourselves and each other is what is your motivation? What drives you? What do you feel your purpose in life is? Where do you want to be in 5, 10, 20 years?
I have literally cried over these questions, prayed over these questions, lost sleep over these questions.
Every time I come back to ONE answer….family.
When my feet hit the floor in the morning, the first thing on my mind is my husband and my children. My job, my purpose, my “why”….is them. I was made for them.
Sometimes I feel like I’m too selfless. Like I give so much of myself to them that alot of times I don’t have it in me to do something for me.
Those boys, including the 26 year old boy, depend on me. I never thought I would enjoy such weight on my shoulders…but God has given it to me because he knows I can handle it. Sometimes I question if God thinks I’m wonder women because it gets really heavy, really emotional, really draining, really tough..but he always gives me another day to wake up and be a wife and mom to the best of my ability.
Some women and men who have children still believe they should chase their dreams, set an example for their kids…I totally agree with that. I think we are the most important role models in our children’s lives. But my dream, my happiness, my goals…they are walking around my house roaring like dinosaurs at 6 in the morning on a Saturday.
Like I find myself wishing I had some talent or some hobby that would turn into a business and make my family wealthy…i really wish I could do that for them.
But my hobby is being a good mom, a fun mom, a loving mom. A woman that sets standards for which they compare their wives to one day.
I want my boys to grow up and tell me things I don’t want to know, trust that I will never fail them or turn my back on them. I want them to grow up but never grow too big to kiss their momma on the cheek and say I love you in front of people.
Like THIS ^^^^ all of this. That stuff up there is my motivation, my purpose, my drive. My “why”.
I trust in God and I know when the time is right, if there is more in-store for my life outside of being a mom, He will give that to me.
And if there isn’t, I have fulfilled my life’s quest. I am okay with JUST being a mom 💙💙