The void.

VOID. By definition, void is a completely empty space. A gaping hole. 

There are very few things in my life I have allowed to create a void. One is the passing of my grandpa..the amount I miss him is immeasurable, his loving hugs are something I long for. The other is wanting another child. 

Some days I crave this feeling of having another child so much I can feel pregnancy in my stomach, other days it’s a mild want. Depending on how my wild children are acting, sometimes I don’t have anything close to that feeling. 

Today I’ve been thinking about the “void” I have allowed myself to create with this want. My thoughts… is this truly a void, something that has created a gaping hole inside of me, something that makes me feel empty. Am I going to be able to live without having another child. Was I made to have another…. Or is it just a want?? 

When you allow yourself to create a void, you have allowed yourself to live without something. Even if it is just momentarily, you have gone without it. So you have survived without it.

The only person that can fill that void…is Y O U. You have to allow your heart to go some place else besides hovering over that hole..that void. 

I’m not making light of death and the emotional void and hurt that leaves someone because I know all too well what that hurt is like. But we have to remember God brought us to it, and He will get us through it. He didn’t bring you to that hole to stare at it and dwell on it. He is here to help you pass it. 

I started reevaluating my priorities. Realizing a second job and becoming a cheerleading coach, isnt going to fill my void of wantint another child…it is just busy work. 

My hole will be filled when I stop trying to put other things in it, and start filling it up with the things I already have…like my two crazy heart warming little boys and my hard working husband. 

I’m not telling you to stop searching, I’m just saying maybe you should stop trying to add so much to your plate and start enjoying what you have. 

I am S O guilty of this…but I am surly working on it. 


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