4.1.17

Yall…my patience with my children today was as thin as this line       ..NONE. but as soon as they feel asleep for a nap, I was instantly wanting to hear my name, wanting to be needed, wanting to be doing anything but watching them sleep. Immediately, I started wondering if I was too harsh, maybe I shouldn’t have made them nap on such a beautiful day (yall, they seriously needed it tho).

But I constantly second guess myself about being a mom. Like am I really going crazy or am I already there or am I just a normal mom…or I don’t even know anymore. I don’t even know normal, what do I consider normal??

I am thinking about not giving my 5 year old a snack because he ate like a newborn rat at breakfast…but I let my 3 year old have gummies. He however ate like a 30 year old man this morning. Idk, maybe I’m doing it all wrong and they are going to grow up being the crazy kids in school..idk.

A part of me is like “girl, you are totally fine, all mom’s are like this. They would all understand, don’t sweat it!” Then the other side chimes in and is like “what the hell are you doing?? That kid is hungry and your starving him. That’s why he’s so skinny. You are SO crazy. You need to get yourself together honey…ASAP”.

Two boys. Under the age of 5. In a two bedroom, one bath house. Another male, 26 years of age. Who seems to act just as crazy as the other two humans he helped you create. Two dogs..aka two vacuums because you seriously don’t have the enegery to vaccum or sweep again..for the SIXTH time today. I am not sure how I am suppose to know what normal is…..WHAT IS NORMALLLLL??????

Whatever it is you are going through, whatever it is that is weighing on your mind, it too shall pass. It may rain the whole time, but it WILL pass.

Grab another cup of coffee even though it’s 4pm, a glass of wine, a beer, a pillow..whatever it is that makes even just a quarter of your smile appear..and indulge yourself in it because you TOTALLY EARNED IT.

…I’m going to wake my three monkeys up—and probably immediately regret it. You all have yourselves a lovely day ❤✌

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